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clarity.....

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 hiya. it's moon_dahliaX. yesterday i had to run out of the house in a hurricane of emotions, after my boyfriend was....well, not himself again. he nearly missed me when throwing a glass at the wall. between sobs, he told me to run away.....run away from him....and i did......crying so much as i went down the street, not knowing where to go....i ended up walking to the cemetery again, my usual refuge..and there was that lady i talk to sometimes, the one killed by her husband. she saw me crying and came to comfort me, and we had a long conversation.....i told her what was going on at home. i don't think i ever told anyone, i just talked about accidents, and spiritual problems, but i never went into detail. she made me think about a lot of things......maybe i really can't fix this. maybe it's not my responsability to fix him. yes, i love him, but.....you can't be with someone who has hurt you, will hurt you....and clearly, i'm not the one who can solve what is goi...
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it gets worse.

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 hiya. since the last post, i haven't been able to make much progress.....in fact, i often feel i'm not doing any at all, if i'm not going backwards.....the spirit has been turning my boyfriend violent. he lets out these horrible screams in the middle of the night....he bangs doors, throws things at the walls..then when he comes back to himself he just cries, and cries. who is doing this to my prince.....? this cat.....i've been reading so much on spirits of animals but i can't find answers! they aren't strong enough to possess people. so it can't be the cat....right? ugh, i wish i could at least see it! why can't i see it?? i'm so tired.....my new vision makes my head hurt, i'm scared of being hurt when i'm at home and the spirit takes over him again, i've lost nights of sleep trying to find answers, only not to find anything......nothing.....i'm at such a loss.....i feel almost like a failure as a medium. the one person i should be ...
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bad news. an accident

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hiya....it's been a while. for good reason, probably. i was at the hospital....yeah, i ended up losing the vision in one of my eyes. a spiritual accident....it was hard. really, really hard. i'm conflicted, and confused, and adapting to my new vision has been really hard.....keeping balance when my sense of depth is gone....i try to cover it with my fringe when i can so people don't ask too many questions. but hopefully it doesn't look all that bad....here is a picture of how i look now. :(  i....don't know why, but a spirit hurt me, and it's hurting my boyfriend. it's hurting us. what is going on? i wish so badly to understand....i had to rest for a bit after the accident but i'm back to reading all i can, looking into purification rituals, anything, really, anything........i'm terrified of not being a good enough medium to solve this. not being able to protect us. i have to be good enough....
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