xmausoleumbatx

 hiya. since the last post, i haven't been able to make much progress.....in fact, i often feel i'm not doing any at all, if i'm not going backwards.....the spirit has been turning my boyfriend violent. he lets out these horrible screams in the middle of the night....he bangs doors, throws things at the walls..then when he comes back to himself he just cries, and cries. who is doing this to my prince.....? this cat.....i've been reading so much on spirits of animals but i can't find answers! they aren't strong enough to possess people. so it can't be the cat....right? ugh, i wish i could at least see it! why can't i see it?? i'm so tired.....my new vision makes my head hurt, i'm scared of being hurt when i'm at home and the spirit takes over him again, i've lost nights of sleep trying to find answers, only not to find anything......nothing.....i'm at such a loss.....i feel almost like a failure as a medium. the one person i should be

hiya....it's been a while. for good reason, probably. i was at the hospital....yeah, i ended up losing the vision in one of my eyes. a spiritual accident....it was hard. really, really hard. i'm conflicted, and confused, and adapting to my new vision has been really hard.....keeping balance when my sense of depth is gone....i try to cover it with my fringe when i can so people don't ask too many questions. but hopefully it doesn't look all that bad....here is a picture of how i look now. :(  i....don't know why, but a spirit hurt me, and it's hurting my boyfriend. it's hurting us. what is going on? i wish so badly to understand....i had to rest for a bit after the accident but i'm back to reading all i can, looking into purification rituals, anything, really, anything........i'm terrified of not being a good enough medium to solve this. not being able to protect us. i have to be good enough....